one two three fourrrrnication!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
