Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
