I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need to calm my uterus...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
