i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
