if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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