eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
