Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
