Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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