Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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