my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
