ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
