if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
