oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
