dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize