I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
