me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
