There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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