Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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