i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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