Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
