problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
