I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
