we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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