I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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