just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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