Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize