Welp...herpes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You made out with two different species that night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
