Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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