Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize