It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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