apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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