We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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