everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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