Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize