Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
