I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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