Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
