he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
