If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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