Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
