I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
