like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
These tits shall not be calmed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
