Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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