Buhtt sex?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
where are you?
Hypothermia
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
