This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
