I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
