I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
