I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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