HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
not ubering you a puppy
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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