Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
