how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
