did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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