you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
