she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
