did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
