remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
